Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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