I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
