Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
