Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
