I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
