Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
