You really coming over, don't trick.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
