some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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