he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
