hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
