somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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