If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
