The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
