Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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