you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
