worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
