i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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