How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
