I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
