Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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