So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
