Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you told grandpa to call you daddy
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
