yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
