Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize