What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
