we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She bit a glass in half.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
