Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just gargled with NyQuil
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
