and i looked up. we had an audience...
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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