Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
