Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Of course I have a pirate flag
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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