Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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