do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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