Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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