Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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