last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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