Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
