STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
