5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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