I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Shame is for Republicans.
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