I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
