I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize