Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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