Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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