she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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