a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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