According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
