i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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