you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
