His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
