Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My penis needs a shock collar
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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