Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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