Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You can't motorboat a personality
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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