I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
