i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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